A phone company puts an ad in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up- a crew of five Italian men and a crew of five blonde women.
The company cannot decide who to give the job to, so they give them a test. The company boss says, "Each crew will receive a telephone pole that they must install into the ground. Whoever is able to hammer it in first, they will get the job."
Both groups agree that this is a fair test, so off they go in the company trucks with the long telephone poles sticking out the back.
A few hours pass, and finally, at 5:00, the Italian crew returns. "YAY!!" they shout. "We came back first, we get the job!!"
"Good work, men," says the boss, "However, we must wait until the other crew comes back to make sure that the reason they're delayed is not because of traffic, or that the truck broke down."
"Fine, no problem," say the men.
An hour passes, two hours pass, three hours. Finally, at 12:00, the Blonde crew arrive. All the group is flushed and breathing hard, as if they had just gone through harsh labor.
"What happened to you? What took so long?" asks the boss incredulously.
"What do you mean, 'What took so long'?? Do we get the job?"
"YOU get the job? No way! The men were back here HOURS ago!"
"Well, of course they were," say the blondes. "They only put the pole in halfway!!"
Go to topAn airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her.
She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.
"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Go to topA blonde walks up to a Coke machine in a Las Vegas casino, puts in a few coins, and out pops a Coke. She puts some more coins into the machine, and another can of coke pops out. She keeps putting in coins, and cans of coke keep coming out. A guy walks up behind her and says, "Can I please use the machine?" The Blonde says,
"SCRAM! Can't you see I'm winning?"
Go to topA blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about all his employees wellbeing, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the blonde replies... "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young girl. "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy just take the day off to relax and rest." The blonde, very calmly states, "No.. I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual... " If you need anything just let me know."
Well... a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying!!!!! He rushes out to her asking " What's so bad now... are you gonna be ok??" "No..." exclaims the blonde, " I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mom died too!!!!"
Go to topTwo blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the Captain announced, "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry, we have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later, the Captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry, we have two engines left."
An hour later the Captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left."
One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day."
Go to topOne day there came a blonde who was fed up with the preconceived notion that all blondes were stupid. So she went to the drug store and bought a bottle of brunette hair coloring. She then proceeded to color her hair. Afterwards,she decided to take a drive into the country. Coming around a bend, she noticed a herdsman and his flock of sheep.Curious about the effects of her new hair color, she decided to stop and ask the herdsman a proposition.
As she approached him, she asked, "Hey herdsman! I have a proposition for you. If I can guess the correct number of sheep in your flock, can I take one for my own?"
Bewildered at the request, the herdsman replied, "Certainly!" So after a few minutes of deep concentration, the Blonde(brunette) responded...,"243!"
"Amazing!!!", replied the herdsman, "...you are correct. Take any one you want." So the blonde made her choice and proceeded to walk to her car. Halfway the herdsman stopped her and asked, "I too have a proposition for you. Do you accept?"
"Certainly, but what is it?" replied the courageous blonde.
The herdsman then said, "If I can guess your natural hair color, can I have my dog back?"
Go to topA blond was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was his turn. He rolled the dice and landed on "Science & Nature." His question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
He thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
Go to topquestions. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration took her purse out, removed a coin and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes, she was seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approached her and asked what was going on.
Her reply was, "I finished the exam in half and hour, but I'm rechecking my answers."
Go to topJohn gets a call from his blonde girlfriend, Buffy.
"I've got a problem," says Buffy.
"What's the matter?" asks John.
"Well, I've bought this jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."
"What's the picture of?" asks John.
"It's of a big rooster," replies Buffy.
"All right," says John, "I'll come over and have a look."
So he goes over to Buffy's house and Buffy greets him saying, "Thanks for coming over."
Buffy leads John into her kitchen and shows him the jigsaw on the kitchen table. John looks at the jigsaw and then turns to Buffy and says, "For Pete's sake, put the Cornflakes back in the box."
Go to topA State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident. I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener.
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