Be on the lookout for these despicable viruses. No current virus-protection software can even detect these, much less help your system once they are on it. Beware!!!
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that get 1000 miles per gallon."
Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?"
Go to topA computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Go to topAt a recent computer software engineering course in the US, the participants were given an awkward question to answer: "If you had just boarded an airliner and discovered that your team of programmers had been responsible for the flight control software, how many of you would disembark immediately?"
Among the ensuing forest of raised hands only one man sat motionless. When asked what he would do, he replied that he would be quite content to stay aboard. With his team's software, he said, the plane was unlikely to even taxi as far as the runway, let alone takeoff.
Go to topSoftware doesn't just appear on the shelves by magic. That program shink-wrappedinside the box along with the indecipherable manual and 12-paragraph disclaimer notice actually came to you by way of an elaborate path, through the most rigid quality control on the planet. Here, shared for the first time with the general public, are the inside details of the program development cycle.
1.Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
2.Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.
3.Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.
4.Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.
5.See 3.
6.See 4.
7.See 5.
8.See 6.
9.See 7.
10.See 8.
11.Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on over-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.
12.Users find 137 new bugs.
13.Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.
14.Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.
15.Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.
16.Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.
17.New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.
18.Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.
Go to top"Our staff has completed the 18 months of work on time and on budget. We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system. We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic archives, and modified all data to reflect the change. We are proud to report that we have completed the "Y-to-K" date change mission, and have now implemented all changes to all programs and all data to reflect your new standards:
Januark, Februark, March, April, Mak, June, Julk, August, September, October, November, December
As well as: Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak Thursdak, Fridak, Saturdak
I trust that this is satisfactory, because to be honest, none of this Y to K problem has made any sense to me. But I understand it is a global problem, and our team is glad to help in any way possible. And what does the year 2000 have to do with it? Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the two digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
Go to topC:\WINDOWS
C:\WINDOWS\GO
C:\PC\CRAWL
C:\DOS
C:\DOS\RUN
RUN\DOS\RUN
My name is BAUD
James BAUD
Cannot find REALITY.SYS
Universe Halted
My computer never had bugs.
It just develops Random Features
CONGRESS.SYS
Corrupt: Re-boot Washington?
BREAKFAST.COM
Halted.....
Cereal Port Not Responding
We'll await your direction."
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