Kids

Important Things I've Learned From Kids

1. It's more fun to color outside the lines.
2. If you're gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
3. Ask why until you understand.
4. Hang on tight.
5. Even if you've been fishing for 3 hours and haven't gotten anything except poison ivy and a sunburn, you're still better off than the worm.
6. Make up the rules as you go along.
7. It doesn't matter who started it.
8. Ask for sprinkles.
9. If the horse you're drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
10. Save a place in line for your friends.
11. Sometimes you have to take the test before you've finished studying.
12. If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
13. Just keep banging until someone opens the door.
14. Making your bed is a waste of time.
15. There is no good reason why clothes have to match.
16. Even Popeye didn't eat his spinach until he absolutely had to.
17. You work so hard pedaling up the hill that you hate to brake on the way down.
18. You can't ask to start over just because you're losing the game.

The Faith Of A Child

When a mother saw a thunderstorm forming in mid-afternoon, she worried about her seven-year-old daughter who would be walking the three blocks from school to home.

Deciding to meet her, the mother saw her walking nonchalantly along, stopping to smile whenever lightning flashed. Seeing her mother, the little girl ran to her, explaining happily, "All the way home, God's been taking my picture!"

Be A Kid Again...

• Give yourself a gold star for everything you do today.
• Dot all your "i"'s with smiley faces.
• Sing into your hairbrush.
• Grow a milk mustache.
• Smile back at the man in the moon.
• Read the funnies--throw the rest of the paper away.
• Dunk your cookies.
• Play a game where you make up the rules as you go along.
• Order with eyes that are bigger than your stomach.
• Open a pack of cupcakes and give one to a friend even though you wanted both of them for yourself.
• Step carefully over sidewalk cracks.
• Change into some play clothes.
• Try to get someone to trade you a better sandwich.
• Have a staring contest with your cat.
• Eat ice cream for breakfast.
• Kiss a frog, just in case.
• Give someone a "hug-around-the-neck."
• Blow the wrapper off a straw.
• Refuse to eat crusts.
• Make a face the next time somebody tells you "no."
• Watch TV in your pajamas.
• Ask "Why?" a lot.
• Have someone read you a story.
• Eat dessert first.
• Wear your favorite shirt with your favorite pants even if they don't match.
• Sneak some frosting off a cake.
• Refuse to back down in a "did vs. did-not argument."
• Do a cartwheel.
• Get someone to buy you something you don't really need.
• Hide your vegetables under your napkin.
• Stay up past your bedtime.
• Whatever you're doing, stop once in a while for recess.
• Wear red gym shoes.
• Make a "slurpy" sound with your straw when you get to the bottom of a milkshake.
• Put way too much sugar on your cereal.
• Play a song you like really loud, over and over.
• Find some pretty stones and save them.
• Let the string all the way out on your kite.
• Walk barefoot in wet grass.
• Make cool screeching noises every time you turn a corner.
• Count the colors in a rainbow.
• Fuss a little, then take a nap.
• Take a running jump over a big puddle.
• Eat dinner at the coffee table.
• Giggle a lot for no real reason.

What Does God Look Like?

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Wedding Story... (As Only A Child Could Do...)

A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar...so it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the time he reached the pulpit. When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear..."

Jesus Is Everywhere

A little boy was afraid of the dark. One night his mother told him to go out to the back porch and bring her the broom. The little boy turned to his mother and said, "Mama, I don't want to go out there. It's dark."

The mother smiled reassuringly at her son. "You don't have to be afraid of the dark," she explained. "Jesus is out there. He'll look after you and protect you."

The little boy looked at his mother real hard and asked, "Are you sure he's out there?"

"Yes, I'm sure. He is everywhere, and he is always ready to help you when you need him," she said.

The little boy thought about that for a minute and then went to the back door and cracked it a little. Peering out into the darkness, he called, "Jesus? If you're out there, would you please hand me the broom?"

Child's Comments On Mary And Joseph

A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby sitter."

Johnny's Reaction to Adam's Rib

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill and said, "Johnny what is the matter?"

Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

So Dirty Your Own Mother Won't Recognize You

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother,"Who am I?"Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?"

"WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!"

Smart Schoolteacher

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."

Sesame Seeds

I took my 4 year old son, Josh, out to McDonald's for dinner one evening for a "guy night". As we were eating our hamburgers, Josh asked "Daddy, what are these little things on the hamburger buns?"

I responded that they were tiny seeds and were okay to eat.

He was quiet for a couple of minutes and I could tell he was in deep thought.

Finally, Josh looked up and said, "Dad, if we go home and plant these seeds in our backyard, we will have enough hamburgers to last forever!"

Where Grandma Lives

When I stopped the bus to pick up Chris for preschool, I noticed an older woman hugging him as he left the house. "Is that your grandmother?" I asked. "Yes," Chris said. "She's come to visit us for Christmas."

"How nice," I said. "Where does she live?"

"At the airport," Chris replied. "Whenever we want her we just go out there and get her."